confess and depress.

Monday, September 3


I feel like I get a wiff of good food and instantaously gain five pounds.  Why does marriage cause unshedable love handles and instant baby hunger?

I started work today.  I wish I could go back to preschool.  Life is lot more colorful and exciting.   I also received a calling in the primary.  I'm surrounded by 3 and 4 year olds.  I'm in toddler heaven.

We had another house centipede in our apartment.  I almost died.  Literally.  It almost killed me.  I refuse to empty our vacuum because it's a huge pot of dead bug stew.  I guess I should be grateful they're not among the living.  

I'm now infatuated with online classes.  I feel like I'm paying a tush load of money to actually not be completely miserable.  I don't miss being social with professors.  Interacting with them always made my rear sweat.

I've been eating peanut butter and honey toast every morning for almost a month now.  Aside from the fact that it is sooooo unhealthy, nothing else sounds even remotely good.  I'm not much of breakfast person but I also don't enjoy the feeling of starvation.  I'll pick my battles.  

Trends.  I despise them.  I feel like doing the opposite but then finally conform.  But by the time I get around to making the purchase, I feel like it's already out of style and I look like a complete dweeb.  

Speaking of trends.  I bought polka dot pants yesterday.  I felt like being bold.      

I should be doing homework (the one down fall of online school.)  The blog world just sounds sooo much more appetizing. 

Tomorrow is D's birthday.  I bet you can't wait to see my cheesy surprises.  Sometimes I wish I was a sexy wife (If you have any pointers, feel free to turn them in my direction.)  I guess he willingly entered this eternity thing (or at least I'll keep telling myself that.)  so he'll have to settle for this goof.

Polka dots and stripes are taking over the world.  I'm very much okay with it.


  1. one : Marriage weight is a curse that no one told us about. So rude.

    two : I got called to teach the 3 & 4 year olds too! I like them better than 8 year olds because they are weird & still like coloring.

    three : (we're twins.) I refuse to empty the vacuum because I have a fear of living spiders laying babies in the crap that is in there. It's probably a bug colony. We might both need new vacuums.

    four : I have striped pants. You have polka dot pants. Let's share.

    five : Buy some sex-ay lingerie, but not from Dirty Jo's because that place is like the stripper's costco. Go golfing naked. Win.

    six : this is obnoxious & your blog is the only one i excessively comment on.


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